Raphael takes the bus
by zenonaa
Summary: Secret Santa for M.D. Owen. What it says on the tin... uh, title.


**T! M! N! T! Does not belong to me!**

**Whee.

* * *

**Raphael groaned as the floor lurched forward suddenly, nearly shoving his face into the ground. He was regaining his posture when some inconsiderate jerks barged into him with their pointy carrier bags. Geez, what was in those things? Needles? Knives? If they hadn't been old ladies, he would have complained loudly or swore at them.

No one seemed to care that he looked like he was about to pass out or puke. Was it so much to offer a seat? The cow to his right was taking up an entire seat with her handbag. She had the nerve to keep smirking in his direction. If she thought that he was going to give in to her then she was wrong. He would stand and show her what's for. Even if he passed out.

The bus slowly accelerated and Raph clenched the bus pole tightly, staring at the floor. He only had a few stops left, thankfully, and nothing could make this journey worse. Heh, that was funny and sad at the same time.

He hated buses with a burning passion. When he turned around, everyone was gawping at him like he was some kind of freak. Okay, maybe it was because he was a freak but that's not the point. There was some celebration in Times Square and everyone was dressed up in stupid costumes. Mikey had gone because Mikey liked any old reason to mingle with humans. That and there was free food.

Raph wondered what Mikey was up to right now. Probably chatting up some teenage girls or pigging out. Splinter had told him to fetch him and as Times Square was full of people, he had to go the human way. Why had Mikey chosen to leave his shell cell behind? Raph bet he had on purpose. Mikey always did annoying things on person. Also, the next person that asked if he was an elf would get a fist in their face. That made him feel better. He even smiled slightly.

"'scuse me," said a gruff voice and Raph raised his eyes, desperate to let some of his frustration out. However, it was masked with surprise when he saw the person that was in his personal space.

It was a triceraton.

"A'ight," said the triceraton. Was it one or just a fat guy in a costume? Was he going to the celebration as well? He looked really convincing, wearing a face helmet and all, but Raph didn't want (or care enough) to ask him. His stomach was protesting. He made a mental note to kick Donnie's butt. It had to have been his cooking and Raph had only just digested it.

The triceraton coughed into the back of his hand and Raph self-consciously glanced at him. He wasn't holding onto the bus pole. The bus went over a bump and Raph felt the triceraton poke the back of his arm as he nearly lost his balance.

Great. Freaking great. That triceraton could fall on top of him any minute and crush him. Whoopdee doo. Whoopdee effin' doo. Why couldn't Raph have been obvious and jumped out of nowhere like a normal ninja?

The bus stopped and the triceraton bumped into him, nearly sending him into the floor. Raph, being the discreet turtle he was, rounded on him and hissed, "Watch it."

"You better watch it," the triceraton retorted. "Little man."

"Whatever, tubby."

"Are you starting something?"

Everyone was definitely watching them. Saddos. And why didn't they do their Christmas shopping earlier? Why were humans always putting off things they had to do? It was their fault he was standing up in front of a fat alien.

Raph glowered at them before facing the front. There was no way that he was going to be coaxed into a fight. No way. As much as he liked fighting, he didn't like to advertise this. People had a thing against it.

"Where are you off to?" asked the triceraton, like he hadn't just called Raph little or pushed him and was instead his old friend from high school.

Raph glared at him. "To collect my brother."

The triceraton missed the finality in his tone. Then again, maybe he hadn't and that was why he said, "I haven't seen mine for ages."

"Fascinating."

"I'm not too sure where they are 'cause they travel from place to place."

"Like a campervan?"

Maybe if he feigned interest than the triceraton would leave him alone.

"Something like that, yeah."

It worked and they were silent. The bus rumbled for a bit and Raph felt his head lighten slightly. They stopped at a bus stop and no one got off but ten people got on. What the shell? Was everyone going to the same place? Or were they just doing it to bug him? Didn't they have families?

"Our house got destroyed."

Great. He was talking.

"How?"

Now that Raph thought about it, he didn't remember being told how their home world got destroyed. Or did the guy really mean a house? Argh, it was too confusing. The triceraton didn't respond so Raph guessed that it was personal… well, as personal as an entire planet blowing up could be.

"I never really liked them 'cause they always got on my nerves," he finally announced. "My brothers."

Raph's left eye twitched.

"Always yapping and then our boss blew up our house."

"Blew up your house?"

"Blew up lots of them. It meant that we weren't altogether so we couldn't join up so easily and fight back. He lost anyway."

"What happened to your brothers?"

The triceraton sighed. "Injured fatally. They have their scars and missing limbs right now. A rival company-" Raph guessed the Federation, "-rounded them up and tortured them. I escaped. Even though they were annoying I miss them, you know? I came here for a bit to have some fun."

"Yeah," agreed Raph, contemplating his situation. When was the last time he had said something heartfelt to his family? Maybe the annoying triceraton actually had a point?

The bus stopped and Raph realised that it was time for him to depart. He nodded at the triceraton before leaving. As soon as he saw Mikey, he was going to not beat him up for putting him through Hell. Yeah. That was a start.

The bus drove away and the 'triceraton' took off his costume's mask. "Man, it's hot in here."


End file.
